Terms & Conditions May Apply to Humanity

Why We Fear Big Tech, Fund It Anyway, and Might End Up as AI’s Favorite Pets

Everyone loves to hate tech companies. They’re spying on us, tracking our every click, and designing useless cables with the express purpose of making you question your sexuality. And yet—curiously—we hand them thousands of dollars, welcome them into our homes, and whisper our deepest secrets into their sleek little microphones.

Yes, everything is being tracked. We know this because every true crime docuseries now includes a scene where detectives read out Google searches like “how to dissolve a body in vinegar” as if they’re bedtime stories. The dystopia isn’t coming—it’s already on Hulu.

This comic may exaggerate some of the conversations I’ve heard in tech circles… but not by much. And now that AI is here, quietly absorbing everything about us—individually and collectively—the weird future is arriving faster than a software update you forgot to install.

Because let’s be honest: if the machines don’t decide to eliminate us like in Terminator, they might go the other way and decide we’d make excellent pets. Which, frankly, might be the best-case scenario. Just ask Perry Farrell.