The Joke That Cost Me My Job (Yes, Really)

So… after 13 years at my job with Apple, I finally managed to do it. I told one joke it actually ended my career.

I always knew my sense of humor was dark, but I assumed “dark” meant eye rolls, not unemployment paperwork.

For more than a decade, I worked hard, showed up for everyone, and even got my best performance review ever this year. Then I made one dumb, unfunny comment — the kind of throwaway thing we’ve all said and instantly regretted — and suddenly I’m packing up my locker.

To make it extra spicy, I didn’t even get the dignity of explaining myself to anyone outside the store. Thirteen years, no history of issues, and that was that. Write me up. I would have been cool with that.

Now I’m out here trying to figure out how to keep the lights on while job-hunting with the enthusiasm of a sloth on NyQuil.

Real Life, as it turns out, waits for no one.

I’ve got a 10-year-old son who depends on me. My older kids are grown, but he still needs his dad present, functioning, and not improvising life like a raccoon behind a Wawa.

On top of that, I’m diabetic, I take heart medication, and — because the universe has a sense of humor I deeply respect — Apple ended my health insurance immediately.

Meanwhile, rent has decided it will continue being rent. Bold move.

So here I am:

Jobless because of a joke…

Trying to support my kid…

And downing my meds with the energy of a man checking his bank balance through his fingers.

If I’ve ever entertained you — and God knows I’ve spent years drawing comics, making videos, writing weird stuff, and generally trying to bring people a laugh — maybe you’d consider helping me land on my feet.

Or, if you’ve ever said something incredibly stupid and were thankful no one heard it, well… someone heard mine. Loud and clear.

My fundraiser is here:

👉 Please help: Click Here

Anything helps — even sharing the GoFundMe link. I’m determined to get back up, get working again, and keep creating things that (hopefully) don’t upset anyone.

Thanks for reading, supporting, sharing, or just not firing me for this newsletter.