Where is my Third Place?
The idea of a third place comes from sociologist Ray Oldenburg in his 1989 book The Great Good Place. He described third places as those informal spots outside of home (first place) and work (second place)—like coffee shops, libraries, or parks—where people can just be together, hang out, and build community.
Then, Robert Putnam kind of broke our hearts in his book Bowling Alone, showing how third places (and social capital in general) have been on the decline since the 1950s. He talks about how we’ve lost so many of the little face-to-face interactions that used to knit our lives together—and how that weakens civic life and democracy itself. Heavy stuff, but true.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I want a third place. I’m not even sure if mine exists yet. What I do know is this: when people come together from all walks of life, talk across differences, and share experiences, society is healthier. Without that, we’re more divided than ever. And social media? Yeah, it’s gasoline on that fire. That’s why I try to only use it to promote my creative work—not to actually live there.
Recently, I joined the Princeton Sketchbook Club. Everyone gets the same blank sketchbook, does their thing in it, and at the end, it becomes part of the Princeton Sketchbook Library. We also meet up every two weeks to sketch together. I plan to go to these meetups—and maybe that’s a third place? Not sure yet. But what I have learned is that being around others is medicine for the brain. Science backs it up: we are better together.
Even Book Worms Horror Zine benefits more from in-person events than it ever will from posting on Instagram. IG is fine for staying updated, but nothing beats that face-to-face “Oh, you made this? Tell me about it” moment. And with AI exploding into the creative world, that human connection is going to matter more than ever. People will crave knowing the person behind the work. That’s where your impact will be.
So here’s my advice: find your third place—or build one. Get out more. Meet people. Make real connections. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Here are some ideas to start:
Social Gathering Spaces:
Cafes & Coffee Shops
Bars & Pubs
Community Centers
Parks & Plazas
Libraries
Community Gardens
Other Third Places:
Bookstores
Barbershops & Salons
Gyms & Fitness Centers
Houses of Worship
Local Shops & Bodegas
Skateparks & Playgrounds
Sports Fields & Rec Centers
Public Markets
And if none of those feel right? Create your own. Seriously. Start small, but start. Because society isn’t going to rebuild itself—we’ve got to show up.
Take care,
James